These were very real questions, coming from very confused and influenced by the world girls. The hunger in their eyes for truth was almost tangible. To have an older woman say to them "Wearing a bikini is like walking down the hallways of school in your bra and panties, why would you do that? Why would you want so many other people to see what is only meant for your husband?" was completely foreign and new. I reminded them that I was their age at one point, I remembered thinking the sinful thoughts on how a bikini looks good on me etc. However, I went on to say I wish I had never worn one, that I wasn't mature enough to understand the reasons why or to care.
I was sitting there trying to answer these questions as lovingly, honestly, and scripturally based as I possibly could on the fly. At the same time I am thinking "This isn't my job. These questions should have been answered already by a mommy and daddy." It absolutely broke my heart that instead of presenting these ideas or asking these questions to a parent, they asked me. Granted I want them to be feel comfortable talking to me, but it is never my intention to take the place of a parent. Yet in youth ministry I find this to be a recurring theme; my husband and I teaching kids what the parents should have already taught. I even get parent texts telling me how much the message hit home and thanking me. Somewhere we are missing the point.
I know I say this phrase a lot, but since becoming a stay at home mom, I have really been learning about how the traditional American church is run based solely on traditions, not necessarily scripture. A youth ministry in theory sounds like a wonderful idea, but in hindsight it is a cop-out, a place where parents can take a back seat and let the "professionals" handle it. While I do think it is important for children to be around their peers, I do not think it should be the sole source of their spiritual teaching. Coming from a youth minister's wife it must sound pretty crazy. Believe me it feels pretty crazy to believe it, but I cannot deny the facts. While my husband and I are still in the position we are in, we will be joyful and work diligently for the Lord, knowing we are here for a reason, but understanding, we are not the solution, just a bandaid to a much bigger problem.
This is one of the areas I intend to investigate into a little more so when the time comes for God to move us somewhere else we will be ready and informed to make a decision on what type of church we should be attending. I have been reading more and more things on Family Based churches and like what I have found so far. If you have any information that you would find informative and will aid me in our search, please leave a comment and let me know. I am linked up to